the Reason

Every time I have been to Sri Lanka, I have always left the country with unanswered questions about myself and where I come from. But not feeling strong enough, or ready to find something that might hurt, I felt that I'd rather leave things as they were and not feeling the inner strength to dig further in to my biological herritage.

But as the years went my curiosity grew stronger and watching the show "Spårlöst" on TV every Monday, where usally an adoptee search for a biological parent or a sibling, I would always think what it would feel like for me to meet my birth mother or I often imagined myself in their position, having some understanding of what they were going through and how emotional it would be, also for me. So I thought, when I have a job, where I can afford to take some time off and travel to Sri Lanka and I have the inner strength that it takes to search for a needle in a haystack, then I am ready- and now, that time has come.

So I will tell, whoever reads this, a little about my story, but from what I know, it is not a very long story and everythig is according to the few papers and documents I have.

I was born in a town called Kalutara in February 1982 and my birth mother's name was something like Yasawathie Hewage. Unable to take care of me for unknown reason, she gave me a beautiful name "Priyanganie" and left me in care of a middle age couple who helped many couples in Sweden to adopt children. I was looked after by an elderly lady named Agnes, who I have met while she was still alive. In may 1982 the couple came, who was going to be my parents and I left Sri Lanka with them as an infant, and became Victoria, growing up in a small town called Floda, with a safe and loving upbringing.

I have been back to Sri Lanka several times and I love the country, but I want to know about my own herritage now, because I want the last piece of the pussle which would make me whole and complete as a person.
It will be difficult because it feels like there is not much I can do from here so I need to spend time in Sri Lanka to search. Sri Lanka a country full of poverty and governmental corruption, where poor people have zero chance in a society where things move slowly forward. For me, it will be a journey of new meetings, disappointments, happiness and sadness. Unsure of what I will find, I will try not, to hope for too much, but it is hard, because there is an inner wish, so strong that it feels like my heart is going to break everytime I think about it.
I want to meet the woman who made a life altering, unselfish decision to give me the opportunity to a better life. I want to have the opportunity to get to know my birth mother and to find out if I have any sisters or brothers!

Lots of Love
Victoria